Sing Us A Song You Drunk Jerkface

You’ve all probably seen the video of Dion Phaneuf, piss-drunk and singing bad karaoke. I saw the video a while ago, but on the way home tonight I heard his bad karaoke song coming out of the mouth of Billy Joel. Ever since I saw Phaneuf singing that song at that karaoke bar, I haven’t been able to listen to Piano Man without cringing. It didn’t stop me from Googling the video once I got home.

Homeboy doesn’t even sing the correct lyrics!

“Sing us a song you’re the piano man, sing us a song tonight. Yeah we’re all in the mood for a melody. Yeaaah, we’re feeling alright.”

No.

You might be feeling alright after all those beers and highballs Mr. Phaneuf, but you are also wrong. There’s nothing more that I hate than ugly, blinged out designer jeans than people that don’t know the lyrics to songs but sing along anyway.

I want to grab him by that heinous necklace, bolo tie thing he’s wearing and scream the correct lyrics in his face.

Piano Man is a good song. You shouldn’t mess that shit up no matter how wasted you are. If you’re that drunk, perhaps you should refrain from signing Billy Joel and pick something else, like Metallica or Slayer because it’s all just a bunch of screaming anyway, so no one will know if you get the words wrong.

Phaneuf, you failed karaoke with a big fat F.