Do Re Mi Mi Mi

I have no motivation to post anything hockey related so in the absence of poor hockey talk, you’re going to get a series of about me posts. All the boring drivel you may or may not care to know about me. So let’s start the first post with some basic stuff.

Age: Hitting that scary age mark…no, not 50. But it’s another big -0! Let’s not talk about it. It’s not near, but it’s not too far away either. But just knowing it’s around the corner is scary!!

Height: 5′ 7″. I’m taller than a Kardashian, but shorter than Cindy Crawford.

Hair Color: Dark brown. The hair salon people call it “Level 4″. Like I’m playing Super Mario Brothers 2 or something.

What’s your sign, baby: Gemini. I am a twin. I don’t really get all the astrology stuff, but I do have two different personalities and I go back and forth between them at the snap of a finger, for no real reason. I can be completely fine and then a minute later a switch flips and I can be the meanest and crankiest person ever. Maybe I’m bipolar?

Physical Abnormalities: I have unusually large feet. They aren’t abnormally large, like size 16 or anything, but they are mighty big. Someone has referred to them as my “firm foundation” once. Yeah sure. Either that or I just have ginormous feet.

Birth Marks: I have one on my lower leg.

Where did you grow up: In same sleepy town I was born in northeast PA.

What was it like: It was a nice little town. I could ride bike (bike riding was my fav!) all day long and my parents didn’t have to worry that I’d be picked up by a weirdo driving around in a child molester van. Who wants candy?! I grew up in a John Cougar Mellancamp song, but if you ever wanted to go to the city, NY and Philly were only a sub-2 hour drive away.

Do you have any siblings: I suffer from only child syndrome. Although I wouldn’t necessarily call it suffering. There are times I wish I had a sibling, but at the same time, I don’t mind being the only child. No, it has nothing to do with getting more presents at holidays and birthdays.

What did you look like: For a long time I had this long, curly dark hair. Then it got cut into this heinous short, Dorothy Hammil looking ‘do, but because my hair was super curly back then it looked like a little white girl fro. I was a normal sized child, not like the kids you see today that could pass for 12 year olds. I also wore my fair share of bad 80′s clothes like sweater vests and light wash denim. Oh yeah, I rocked those. I even remember I had this jumper that was knit, like leggings, but it had suspenders. Oy.

What is your best memory of childhood? Worst?: Best memory is summertime. The routine was, get up, eat breakfast, watch cartoons and then spend the day riding bike or going to the library. You’d go in for lunch and leave again. Come back in later in the afternoon to watch cartoons again. Worst memory…can’t really say I have any horrible childhood memory.

Did you have a nickname: I have no original nickname. Seriously. I know, I’m not that cool.

Education: I was a public school kid and then when I finally got out of that place I attended a research university that is one of US News and World Report’s top 50 national universities. I majored in social science and biological science. Yeah, I know it’s weird, but I loved it. My fellow alumni have won Nobel Peace Prizes, Academy Awards, Pulitzer’s, been Olympians, Hall of Fame football players, legendary philanthropists and businessmen, four star generals, and have been leaders in science and medicine. Wow, now I feel like a slacker.  What the hell have I been doing? “Sure Doctor Whosit, you cure cancer and I’ll follow loser hockey players around.” Geesh!

That’s it for the basics. Later sports fans.

Rink Review

 

 Last week I jetted out in broad daylight and spent some time in Cigar City/The Big Guava; Tampa, Florida. While I was in Tampa, I of course had to partake in a Tampa Bay Lightning game (or two). I’ve been cruising the AHL scene these past few years and the few NHL games I have attended have cost the equivalent of a small country’s GNP. So I wasn’t really sure I wanted to waste the money and go through the hassle of finding out Ticketmaster was sold out only to have to end up dealing with some assbag trying to sell his $200 ticket for $600 on a TicketExchange, just for mediocre hockey.

 

I’m glad I don’t listen to myself!

 

I checked Ticketmaster and was surprised to find out there were a good number of seats in the upper and lower section available. I’m so used to not finding anything and then having to scour the TicketExchange of said NHL team OR Stub Hub and sell my first and second born to pay for them. I didn’t have to do any of that. I found tickets in the 100 level, four rows from the ice for $65.

Image courtesy of baynews9.com

 

The Lightning play in the St. Pete Times Forum, recently renamed the Tampa Bay Times Forum. It sits at 400 Channelside Drive in the heart of downtown Tampa. The Tampa Bay Times Forum opened in 1996 and cost $139 million to build. For hockey, it’s capacity is 19,204; which is twice as expensive as the Giant Center ($65 million). The Tampa Bay Times Forum is undergoing a $35 million renovation. The renovation will include a rebuilt grand plaza entrance, elimination of 2 lower level suites in each corner (8 of current 28 suites) leaving views from the concourse area to the playing area, renovation of each suite, elimination of sections 323 and 324 on the terrace level (574 seats) for a bar and stage area that will feature a new digital theatre organ, more concessions areas on the terrace level, an 11,000-sq ft outdoor deck and party area overlooking outside plaza and facing the downtown skyline, new climate controls that improve both the ice surface and spectator comfort, new lighting, all new padded seats, resurfaced and redecorated concourse, combining icons and medallions restaurants into one venue, and updated restrooms. If I hadn’t seen the “Excuse our dust” signs all around, I would have never known. The MSG renovation is abysmal! I’m not sure what stage the renovation is in, but the arena is nice and offers a good variety of vendors and Bolts merchandise.

 

Getting off I-4 and navigating the streets of Tampa was not difficult at all. I managed to find parking a block away for eight dollars. That’s as cheap as Giant Center parking, but less than parking in Manchester, NH. In the plaza in front of the arena there were beverage and apparel vendors. There’s also a lovely life-sized statue of Espo now. I didn’t get to the arena until close to game time, so I didn’t get to do much exploring around the area, but I hear there are a lot of good bars and restaurants around.

 

The energy inside the arena was unexpected! Bolts fans really get into the games. When I got the inexpensive ticket and saw how available seats were, I wasn’t expecting a lot. But it was just as good as a Rangers game. I had ate before the game so I didn’t grab any arena food. I know, I’m failing you with the important stuff! Tampa Bay Times Forum (or TBTF) employees were all super nice and helpful, in that Southern hospitality kinda way, but without the accent.

 

I could do without the Lightning Girls. They were all over the place. You could usually spot the trail of glitter, spandex and self tanner that would lead you right to a group of them. Of course all the men stare at them and then would either mention they’re nice to look at or a joke. I do love ThunderBug, the Lightning mascot! The arena also has a really cool organ up in the 300 level. When the organ lights flash and the music plays, it’s all very cool and adds to the atmosphere of the arena.

 

In short, if you’re ever going to be in or around the greater Tampa Bay area, I would strongly suggest hitting up a Lightning game.

 

Do it! Go!

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!

Back on October 8th Hockey Is My Boyfriend turned four years old and I totally missed my own birthday! Oh my, how the time flies!

Sorry, there are no cupcakes.

I remember sitting on the couch at night on October 8 in 2008 putting together the blog and dreaming up all the cool things planned for its future. Unfortunately, about 3/4 of the things planned haven’t happened, but we’re still plugging away. I’m not sure why I say ‘we’ in reference ot the blog. There isn’t a team of bloggers. It’s just me…and the blog, so I guess there are two of us which makes us a we as much as an inanimate thing can have people qualities. Anyway, instead of the boring trip down stats memory lane, I wanted to answer 10 questions. Really answer them, not in that sarcastic or short way you answer those lame email survey questions.

Since I’m experiencing the equivalent of blog menopause right now and I have absolutely zero creativity and drive to come up with anything, I recruited the artist formerly known as Magic’s Johnson from Chairman How’s Glorious Army to come up with some topics. Actually, only about half the questions are his. The rest are from those dumb email survey sites. I could only print about half of his without changing my blog rating to R.

What’s your favorite food?
Any form of the potato. French fries, baked potatoes, chips, mashed potatoes, tater tots. Doesn’t really matter. If it’s a potato and you can salt it and flavor it, I will eat it. Which isn’t good considering the whole eating right thing, but I have no willpower against them. They’re so good! Go ahead and judge me. We all have our things. For some people it’s Twinkies and cake, scotch, beer, ice cream, carrots or something else. For me, it’s the potato.

Brian Burke calls you and challenges you to visit his fighting barn. Who are you bringing as your backup?
John Mirasty and Jeremy Yablonski. Their whole job is to kick people’s asses. The two of them practically took on an entire Russian wedding party and came out untouched while Kip Brennan kept shadow dancing with someone and telling them he was going to “eff their shit up.” Yabo took one swing at a guy and laid him out. It was like he was swatting a fly. That’s a dude I want to be part of my fight club. Not Kip ‘Your dress would look better on my floor’ Brennan.

Favorite television character?
I love the couple on SNL, Bobbi and Marty Culp, who head up the music department at Altadena Middle School. Marty and Bobbi are a weird, unstylish, married couple. She’s got a crazy, opera voice and he plays the keyboard. The perform popular songs at middle school functions. I remember how funny it was hearing them sing this almost opera-like performance of Jethro Tull’s Aqualung. There’s always their Rock Lobster performance too.

Which Bear, past or present, is most likely to file an order of protection against you?
None of them. I might joke about stalking them but I would actually never do that. I am completely harmless.

What is your favorite song?

Say ONE nice thing about Chris Bourque. Come on, I dare you.
He was born and raised in Boston. The city that gave us “no taxation without representation,” hardcore punk and Larry Byrd in his shorty-short basketball shorts. I guess he can’t be that bad.

Where would you rather spend a weekend — Rochester, Pyongyang, or Wilkes-Barre?
Rochester! They have Dinosaur BBQ. Wilkes-Barre has…nothing. Yeah, that’s why…

What is your favorite beverage?
Ginger ale or hot tea. No, not mixed together or with vodka or anything. Just ginger ale and just hot tea – herbal chamomile tea. Yes, I know I am an old lady.  If you ever see me and I ask you to have strumpets and tea, don’t be scared. By the way, what is a strumpet? I don’t even know.

What do you do? What did you want to be when you were younger?
As an adult I work for the man every night and day, except weekends…or at least that’s what it feels like. When I was younger I wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, vetinarian, political activist, professional bicycle rider, equestrian, ballerina, and hairdresser.

What is your background?
I am a combination of German, Swiss and Irish so I guess you’d say Germaswissrish. I’m not big into the commercialism of Christmas, but I do LOVE German Christmas markets (Christkindlmarkt). I love getting some mulled wine, lebkuchen, a bratwurst, roasted nuts and walking around to look at the nutcrackers and all the cool handmade toys and stuff. Add some snow and it can’t get any better. Outside of the crazy love of potatoes, I don’t really identify with the Irish parts of me so I don’t get any warm fuzzies about that like I do the lebkuchen and brats.

Happy Holidays!

With Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus and all those other important religious holidays coming up I thought it was finally time to send you all my yearly holiday greetings.

In years past I’ve elved various NHL and AHL players and coaches and made them do a funny little dance. Not going to lie, I did it again this year and it was pretty funny especially considering I used an NHLer, AHLer, guy from major junior, a Euro and a former NHL coach. Unfortunately, as most things go with me, something went awry and it didn’t save. It got halfway through the elf disco song and froze. I can’t show you Mike Keenan in mid-shimmy and not finish the job!

So I decided to take my love of all things Photoshop and make this little gem.

I know you are amazed at my talent so I’ll leave you in awe by saying Happy Holidays folks!

My Gr8 Problem

I’m sad the Caps let Boudreau go. I love Bruce and was a fan back in his Manchester days. I was at the Giant Center for some preseason shit when they announced him Bears head coach and I remember screaming like a little girl when they announced his name. I awkwardly ran into him at training camp in Piney Orchard. I miss his mismatched shoes behind the bench. But I get it. He had to go. It’s sad, but I get it and can move on.

What I can understand is that some people think his firing is going to fix everything.

This is just my opinion and what is my opinion really worth, right? I mean, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. But that’s the beauty of an opinion. We’re all allowed to have them and share them. Wether or not people listen, well that’s on them. This is my opinion and I’m sure you’re coming here wondering, “what the hell is this bitch talking about. What does she really know?” That’s just the thing. I don’t know anything about the inner workings of locker rooms or details about the thoughts of players, General Managers or owners. You usually don’t come to my blog to find smart, insightful posts about team production or game analysis. My blog is like the Onion of hockey blogs (although nowhere near as funny), whereas the others are like the Times or the Post. So where do I get off spewing my mindless drivel? Remember, I said it was an opinion. Take it for what you will.

I love the Capitals, but I have this giant, zit the night before the prom, problem with Alex Ovechkin. I can hear the screams of horror, the Twitter unfollows and the hate-mail comments being fired into my comment queue right now (P.S. I love the word queue). Yes, I said it. I don’t like the Great 8.  You will all get over it.

I appreciate his skill and will agree that he is one of, if not the most entertaining and skillful players in the NHL now. Sorry Siddykins! While his talent is larger than life, his attitude and leadership skills are abysmal and leave me scratching my head (or maybe it’s lice?! Ew!). 

I get the feeling that he is this out of control, coddled punk more concerned with djing with Tiesto and kneeing the opposition. Alex Semin is his hanger-on and is immune, just by association. The two of them could slash GMGM’s tires and he’d let it go because it’s Ovie and Semin. I feel like he gets away with a lot, just because he’s Alex Ovechkin, is the face of the franchise and he’s putting asses in seats. It seems like all that is expected of him is to score and show off. There are times when his play is borderline dirty. He seems to have this flagrant disregard for caution as seen in the Youtube clip where he almost beheads Mike Green. Sure, it’s all fun and games until someone’s head pops off like a Barbie in a loading dock door accident. I read a Post article and they insinuated Ovi didn’t like Boudreau’s plan to spread the wealth and give other guys some more ice time. He swore at Boudreau when he sat him out for lackluster play. I can see Ovie running and crying to GM or TL, about either of these things. And because he is their cash cow, they bend over backwards, sideways and upside down to give him what he wants (who knew they were so limber). As long as he’s making them money, they let him do whatever. “Oh, Ovie caught the Verizon on fire? Oh well, we’ll just build another one.”

Capitan’s are supposed to lead and motivate their teammates. In another Post article I saw where Boudreau was trying to get Ovie to play a certain way and Ov half-assedly did what he asked. He might not like the coach’s game plan, but as the capitan, it’s his job to sell what the coach is pushing like it’s the surf and turf platter at the local steakhouse, whether you like it or not. There’s a saying, “fake it til you make it.”

Like Michael Scott said:

Leader… ship. The word “ship” is hidden inside the word “leadership,” as its derivation. So if this office is, in fact, a ship, as its leader, I am the captain. But we’re all in the same boat. Teamwork!

However, I think one phrase sums it all up: It’s Ovie’s world, we just live in it.

 Let the onslaught of disagreers begin!

Listen Up

Whether you’re celebrating a great accomplishment or feeling down for any number of reasons, we all need someone in our life we can turn to who will listen with empathy and understanding. Emotional openness is the first part of bonding, which is the heart of intimacy. Making it safe for others to confide by being a good listener is one of the most valuable gifts we can give the people we love.

Do you have that person in your life? Are you that person for someone? Is that person a best friend, former boyfriend, family member or someone else important to you?

I know someone who could be headed into a dark place. I don’t know how close they are to that place, but I’ve seen them in this place before and I don’t like it; even though I am the queen of dark and messed up and I can totally commiserate.

This friend of mine who plays hockey started out with his current team and was expecting to have a great season. He worked really hard over the summer and went to camp in good shape, ready for the new season. Only a little over a month into the season, he’s already struggling. He only has two goals, although his team is counting on him to be one of their top scorers, so he’s expected to have more. His team is in second to last place. I’ve watched his ice time go from around 25 minutes a game, to barely 11. He’s already been a healthy scratch, twice. I’m waiting for 1) a trade or 2) a trip down.

I’m concerned because I remember a few years ago, he came off a great season, probably one of the best of his career, but he ended up on a shitty team with a shitty coach and half the time he didn’t care what happened. I recently spoke to him and all I said was “hi, what’s up?” and it was like the floodgates opened and all this crap came out. He started telling me about all his woes. My immediate response is to try to puff him up, make him feel good. So I start in with the “you’re awesome, it’ll work out” stuff but I still get the feeling he’s a little down.

I don’t even know why it should be my problem? I’ll always hold some level of concern, but there’s someone else who should be supporting him in troubled times. Coming to me with issues makes people think his girlfriend isn’t supportive, which I don’t think is the case. But who knows, maybe she isn’t.

What do you say (or do) to someone to make them not feel like a decroded piece of crap?

That’s right. Get out of our lives and eat a decroded piece of crap, Uncle Rico. Why don’t you go feed Tina?

Lest We Forget

With all the scandal surrounding political hopefuls and the untouchables at Penn State, I feel like everyone could learn a giant lesson. Especially on a day like today.

The things going on at Penn State are insane. The allegations against one of their former heroes is sickening and if they are true, he deserves to spend the rest of his life in jail where he can be sodomized by Bubba or Frank in the local cell block shower. The supposed cover up of the whole situation is incredibly disheartening and proves how you shouldn’t hold athletes and sports professionals on a pedestal. They are human and fallible. This is proof of that.

A lot of people don’t understand the Penn State mentality and I don’t 100 percent get it either. I’m not a PSU fan. Never have been and never will be. My disgust for Penn State is borderline hate (but my grandmother taught me when I was little to never hate anyone. I bet your nana taught you that too). I think there’s some kind of brainwashing that goes on at freshman orientation, kind of like in the movie “Disturbing Behavior.” I’m kidding of course. Or am I? At the same time that I don’t get it, I do. Penn State is Joe Paterno and football. They go together like bread and butter. He’s been around for almost half of the schools existence (not really, but close) and he’s turned the institution into a huge place, just because of football. To Staters, Joe Pa and football are the be all end all. They can do anything and it’s okay because the football program makes the school a ton of money, wins, and brings national recognition that PSU is a “cool” place to go. I use cool in quotes because have any of you been to State College? It’s not that cool. Without PSU, State College is just another sleepy town in Pennsyltucky. Tucked along 322 and 80. Students, alumni and fan boys hold Paterno and the whole football program to this inappropriately high standard. They’re god-like and all the little blue and white sheeple have this massive ego like they’re allowed to be these snobby, elitist kids because PSU is the most awesome thing ever (You’d think they went to Yale or something). Side note: at the trustee presser, I wanted to punch the student reporters and students in general in the face. The media didn’t bring this problem to Sad Valley. The offenders/cover uppers did. Okay, moving on…Then you go outside of the State College/central PA bubble people aren’t as in your face about their love for Penn State. It’s literally like a cult, but in this cult they’re all amped up on school spirit and are ready to roid rage at any second. I love my alma matter a lot, but it doesn’t mean I need to act like an asshole about it all the time. Didn’t anyone ever hear about false idols? How about the cult of personality? It’s a pretty good song by Living Colour. No, not the TV show where JLo was a fly girl.

Remember when you were in school and you had to write a paper on who your hero was? Do any of you remember how many kids picked a sports figure? Sure Paterno has done great things for the school: given them lots of money, brought national recognition to an otherwise average school, put together a football program that won and where players actually went to class, passed and graduated (turning boys into men they say). He’s had a legendary coaching career and it is unfortunate that his legacy is ending this way, but we all make choices. He made his. He’s reaped what he (and others) has sewn. It’s a lesson everyone should learn. To not hold athletes, sports figures or college athletic programs to this high standard. None of them are have cured cancer, ended world hunger or brought about world peace. They won a football game. Big whoop. They are not the people you should be idealizing.

Before you ask, no I do not have family in the military nor am I busting at the seams with patriotism. I was just raised to respect and revere those who do good things, not trivial ones.

Today is Veterans Day and it’s been hidden in the news behind this monster molestation case, missing kids, and the upcoming election. Today and the happenings over the past week should remind us all who the true “heroes” are. They’re not football coaches with winning records, football players catching a 50 yard pass, hockey players who score five goals in a period, or the baller who makes $10 million a year. The people  you should admire are veterans and current members of the military (police officers, first responders and others of the same). They put their lives on the line to protect ours and others who cannot. You might not like the president, his policy or actions, but at the heart of the military, they are all there to protect us, our ideals (the good ones the country was founded on..the ones some of those important people in DC seem to forget) and our allies. I know there are sickos in the military and some of them do bad things. The news just had a report of one such case, but the majority of our military are proud to serve us and our country and find it the most admirable thing they can do in their entire life. Show them respect not only on days like today, but every day. Say thank you to them. Don’t stare at injured or disfigured ones awkwardly. They gave their sight, leg, or sanity for our country, ideals and international friends. Smile and say hello and thank you.

And just in case you have no idea about the song I mentioned earlier, here it is. You’re welcome. Now download some good music from iTunes and not Hannah Montana.

Back In the Swing of Things

This has nothing to do with hockey, just to be forewarned.

The past three years I’ve been kinda lazy. Lazy with everything.

I would never go anywhere semi-important without making sure my hair was its best. I always stepped outside dressed like I could be seen by someone important (read: hockey player). I had a reason to keep myself on the level of an eight. I used to exercise and kinda watch what I ate. I used to have this thing on my side called metabolism. I know as I get older my metabolism slows down. That’s why you always see the 70 year old man at the gym for three hours. I was never super skinny nor have I ever claimed to be supermodel pretty, but I was doing alright for myself. I managed to snag a few prize bucks as playthings. Most importantly, I was happy with myself.

Over the past three years I’ve gone from a normal weight to one that I am not happy with. I am by no means obese, but I have tacked on a few pounds. It’s a weight I’m not used to and makes me extremely uncomfortable in my skin. I don’t like wearing clothes. So when I go outside for a quick trip to Giant, I’ll rock my sweats or some baggy sweatshirt. I end up looking like that tv ad for Massengill or whatever, where the lady looks in a store window and feels dummpy and shitty. Only I not only feel dumpy, I know I have to look like a hobo. For three years I’ve always done the “oh, I’ll start eating better next week” and before I know it, three months have gone by and I’m still eating crap like pizza or Pop-Tarts all.the.time. I blame it on a few things: 1) stress at work. Nothing makes me eat my feelings more than the shitstorm that happens at work. And trust me every day is a shitstorm. But in today’s economy, I realize I’m just lucky to be employed. I know a lot of people educated just as well as me who have not been gainfully employed for over two years. 2) My own personal laziness. Let’s face it. After work I’d rather chill on the couch and watch Judge Judy and eat Pringles. They’re damn tasty and Judge Judy is a great way to relax and laugh at the world. and 3) a select few people leaving my social circle. These people being hockey players. Their exit was not dramatic at all, but they have left the inner rings of my bubble, so I feel like I no longer have to keep myself looking tight. You might think there are lots of other guys to look good for, but someone said it once before and I can’t remember who, but hockey players are like Lays potato chips. You can’t have just one. It’s so true. Other guys aren’t of interest to me.

I’m not sure why I’m drawn to them. They are just regular guys. I don’t think that being with them gives you any kind of status or makes you any more important than anyone else. There’s just something about them. You have to be a very independent person to be with them and I think that’s a big part of the draw to me.

Being at the Bears home opener and seeing the somewhat disappointing new crop of bunnies reminded me of those days from four or five years ago when I was doing those kind of things. Hate to say it but I miss it. It was fun and I’m not quite ready to leave that part of my life behind me. But honestly, the way I think I look now is not up to snuff. So I’m done with the “oh I’ll start taking care of myself tomorrow” and I have actually started working on myself.

I may or may not blog a little bit about diet and workout stuff on here. I’m not sure yet. I don’t want to bore you all to tears or anything, but sometimes it would help to vent about my idiot co-workers and how badly I want to go out and score some caffeine or devour a Pizza Hut pan pizza. Or how my creepy neighbor stares at me when I jog down the street.

My goal by the end of this all is to be able to treat myself to an expensive pair of skinny jeans and these kickass boots I saw the other week. I can’t wear the boots without the jeans and I can’t wear skinny jeans with thunder thighs! Well I guess I could, but I shouldn’t. It’s like heavy girls who wear pencil skirts. Bad news.

I’m not telling you any of this to win your praise or approval. I’m telling you so if you feel the same, maybe it’ll encourage you to make changes you want to make to yourself.

Hockey High School

I was excited for the start of hockey season and I was going to do a post on my first game of the season outfit. You know, kind of like picking out the outfit you’re going to wear on your first day of school. But then the Psycho Hockey Lady brought it to my attention that dressing up in anything other than a hockey jersey, potato sack or nun outfit is looked down upon, makes me look like a puckbunny and takes me out of the running for ‘real’ fan of the year. So I didn’t do that, but I did think about all the times I was excited for the start of the season and how it really is like the first day of school. Then other thoughts come to mind and before too long, I’m comparing the hockey rink to my years in high school.

And it’s kinda true. Hockey arenas are a lot like your local high school. There are cliques, drama, rumors, sports and competition. Most of the girls are after one thing: the captain of the football team (or in this case any hockey player who’s breathing and standing upright).

The cliques I’ve encountered were small, all female with the occasional male. All young, with one or two older people (late 20s-early 30s) mixed in. They paired off in groups of friends and by other ridiculous social means. Like in high school, you hung out with the people who could get you somewhere or something – whether it was popularity, dates with the cute boys, an A on a paper, cigarettes, etc… Sure you hung out with friends and people you liked, but it’s silly to say you didn’t have one or two people you used for your own personal gain. People do it now. Life is all about social-climbing and using people to get what you want. To what extent you do these things is dependent on you. I knew a person who picked friends based on looks and weight. She wanted to be the center of attention, so she hung out with people she thought were less than her.

Before the game we would always have to stay in touch to find out what one another was wearing. If you wore something that wasn’t up to snuff, you’d hear about it all night. I remember one game I wore a sweater and clogs because it was cold and I was feeling extra casual. It was probably that time and all I wanted to do was sit down and blend in without biting anyone’s face off. All I heard about the entire game were my clogs. I might as well have been told to leave the popular lunch table and go sit with the computer club kids. So close to being shunned.

Your group always had some kind of drama or competition with another group. Most of it was with one another, but would sometimes include player friends, wives or girlfriends or season ticket holders. If your biggest rival in your group or another one wore a v-neck shirt, you’d have to wear a deep v-neck shirt and pushup bra. Anything to give yourself the edge. The drama always centered around warmups, the game and the after-game night out. If a hockey player stared at you or shot the puck at the boards/glass where you were sitting it was almost the same as being sent a drink at a bar. It meant they were interested and you should try your hardest to say hi after the game. If a girl saw you make a move on her or someone else’s “man” at the bar or something, they’d call someone, who would call someone, who would call someone else, etc…. The next day you’d have a bunch of text messages blowing up your phone and at the arena, twenty different people were talking about it. Talk of the drama would fly from cell phone to cell phone during the game and when the game was over, you’d meet your ‘friends’ in a designated spot and keep the drama train running late into the night. If things got really bad, stuff would get posted on the voy.com boards or somewhere else in a deep crack of the Internet.

Like anything involving a small group of girls going after one goal, it’s a battle royale. Survival of the fittest. The pretty or smart (or both, you can be pretty and smart) girls are the only ones who survive with the least amount of damage. Everyone else is a casualty and will get eaten alive.

The game ends quickly. After a year or two, it gets old and is time to step aside for another crop of young girls that will destroy one another in just the same ways. It’s just best to get out and go rogue with the trusted few you know you can count on. By the time your puckbunny supergroup time is over, the collateral damage is already done. The girls who were your so-called ‘friends’ are long gone. You might have one or two friends left over from that time, but things are different and have changed. I know for myself and the few friends I have left from that period of life are like me. We’ve survived and still love hockey, but we’ve suffered some scars (more like scratches than puncture wounds) and the game isn’t the same as it used to be.

Dynamics at the Giant Center may be different. I hope it is.

There’s been a lot of tragedy in hockey lately. The most recent event has reminded a lot of people how fleeting life is and how human athletes are. A lot of people have already written how sports and athletes are a means to escape the every day drama of our lives. When you go to a sporting event you get to escape and forget your family member’s cancer or the fact you lost your job three days ago or the general crappiness of things going on across the world. For a brief amount of time, all that stuff is blocked out. It’s like a movie.

The individuals playing are these ultra-conditioned and skilled athletes that come in many shapes and forms. They dish out and absorb bone rattling checks (we all like to think we could handle) that would probably leave us sore for weeks. When a big game is on the line, they’ll get injured and play in visible pain, almost like a superhero. When they get injured, they sit out for however long they need to and then they come back and resume the physicalness of the game they play. They don’t seem like real people. They play their game and when the buzzer rings, they go away. Almost like actors, playing a part as the movie is over.

But it’s not a movie and they’re not actors. After the dressing room they go home to girlfriends, wives, children. They call their parents or friends. They make plans with teammates. The disaster with Lokomotiv reminded us of that. These guys are just people; capable of succumbing to the same awful stuff of regular folks.

I found out about the plane crash through a friend on Facebook. I saw something about Puck Daddy and hockey plane crash and was intrigued so I hit the link on my iPhone. I didn’t know where it was and I worried for a second when a map of Europe came up. I double tapped to make the image bigger and was less worried when I saw it was not in the part of Europe where my most favorite of hockey players is (surprisingly, there is someone I like more than Brooks Laich. Scandalous. Not.) After my heart stopped beating 10,000 beats a minute, I took a few seconds to think about how this could happen anywhere and more specifically, to said favorite player- let’s call him Aquaman.

Katrina at Psycho Lady Hockey wrote an interesting piece on Death and the Puckbunny. Am I calling myself a puckbunny? You can decide that. I’m not interested in wasting my time debating puckbunny vs. real female fan or getting into that feminism shit. After hearing about the Euro tragedy, I thought about her post and Aquaman and a lot of things in it hit home with me. She’s right about the Lay’s potato chip thing too.

Long story short, don’t regard athletes as supermen. They’re regular people, just like you and me.

Let’s Try This Again

This didn’t work out at all in July when I tried it, but I’m hoping people will be more into it this time considering the season is less than a few weeks away.

As a way to not think about stressful things and just ogle pictures of cute animals, I wanted to try the Hockey’s Cutest Pet Contest…again.

You have until September 30th to email me a picture of your pet (dog, cat, lizard, pot-bellied pig, etc…), dressed up in your favorite hockey teams apparel.

Email me a picture of your pet; your name, Twitter handle and/or blog link; your pet’s name and what they are (ie: Himalayan cat, Pomeranian, pet Cobra, etc…).

Once I get the pics I’ll post them and everyone can vote for their favorite pets with the best display of team spirit during the entire month of October. What better way to kick off the start of the 2011 hockey season!

Next Post

I’m doing it again, but this time after listening to posts from a hockey player on Twitter. Mike McKenna, goalie extraordinaire for the Ottawa Senators/Binghamton Senators was discussing animal adoption and there’s so much I wanted to say to him regarding the issue, but found it hard to do so at a 140 character limit and I didn’t want to Tweet-spam him. So now I’d like to go on the record and give you my three cents about pets and animal rescue.

Pets are awesome. They’re great, loyal companions who will do anything to please. I love my puppers like a child and could drive myself crazy thinking of how awful I would feel if something bad happened. Mac gets the best food I can find, all the latest and greatest doggie toys and a spot beside me in bed every night. I wish everyone felt the same way about pets as I do, but there are a lot of people who don’t. To them an animal is inferior, something you can abuse to make yourself feel powerful. Fortunately for some of those dogs, someone like the animal police intervenes and saves them and they get adopted by a nice family/person. Unfortunately for some of them, they are neglected and abused and left to die or they are rescued, only to be put down days or weeks later in a shelter. For others, they’re an easy way to make a quick buck.

Puppies are cute!

So I encourage you, if you’re looking for a pet and you don’t have any restrictions, to adopt or rescue a dog. Don’t just go for the puppies either. Senior dogs are just as sweet and need just as much love and attention as a puppy. They deserve a good home to live our their remaining years in too. Also, don’t villianize all the folks that do buy dogs. Not all of them are buying dogs from puppy mills. Also, don’t buy a puppy as a present. Dogs are a commitment, not an accessory or gift, like a scarf or Fossil watch.

That’s it for me. Night y’all. When did I become Southern?!

Random Search Term

Search Term: Hockey Player That Wants to Return to Hershey Bears

Origin: Publishers Clearing House Yeah, aren’t they those people who show up at your door in a giant van at an inopportune time while you’re in your bathrobe and curlers with a giant check and balloons? Then they present you with your 10 million dollar giant check and film you whist you freak out? Of course, you will then end up on national television in your bathrobe and curlers in ultimate freak out mode.

I’m still a little stunned as to the origin of this search. The giant check prize patrol people? Really? I originally assumed the hockey player in question who would like to return to Hershey was this guy.

Thank you @ovifan8 for this photo.

But when I went to the PCH website and Googled the exact term it lead me to a post of mine from a while ago regarding this guy.

But I’m really hoping and wishing they are really talking about this guy.

Not. Contrary to what you might think, that is not Sacha Baron Cohen.

Respect My Authority

I have absolutely nothing to say regarding the puck so I’m going to go off on a tangent and steal a page out of The Active Stick’s book. I’m going to use the blog as my soapbox and go all socially conscious on you.

With the impending shitstorm of Hurricane Irene and the great East Coast tremor of last week, I figured now is as good of a time as any to talk about matters of the environment. Before you exit, it’s not like that. I don’t burn incense, smell like patchouli or wear Birkenstocks.

We were all taught how certain environmental phenomenon occur. Tectonic plates move. They create valleys, mountains, etc… Tornadoes are a result of warm fronts and some other meteorologic stuff I don’t understand. Hurricanes are a mixture of warm water, moist air and converging winds. I can go into a laundry list of things that people think cause or worsen them (global warming, etc…), but I won’t because there are millions of reasons why not recycling your plastic water bottle leads to water pollution and higher temperatures. Like they say, opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one. What I do know, and I don’t have to be a NWA (not the rap group) certified meteorologist to know this, Mother Nature is a grand thing. She is responsible for creating and destroying. You don’t mess with her. She is a BAMF.

Think it’s all a bunch of tree hugging hippie crap? Think about Hurricane Katrina. Mother nature took so much away in minutes. Then there are the Canadian Rockies, the Great Barrier Reef, the Grand Canyon, or Mount Everest. They’re all beautiful displays of Mother Nature at her finest.

As Mayor Bloomberg said, “Nature is a force more powerful than any of us.”

It’s powerful, scary, and extraordinary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Respect it. Take care of your earth and the creatures on it.

Yeah, really sorry about my lack of “quality” posts over the past few months (I use that term loosely because really, how many of my posts are really quality? It’s okay. I know and I’m okay with not being a legit lady blogger. I’ll never get a press pass or media credentials, but that’s okay with me). Things have been hectic and I feel bad giving you lame “different kinds of poop” posts, but you have to admit, it was kinda funny. Come on. I can see it on your face, you loved it.

Yes, I am still here and in charge of this mess.

To put it mildly, things at work are nuts. I spend a minimum of 10 hours a day there and the past few days it’s been more like 12-13. Tomorrow I’m estimating close to 15. Every minute of my day is busy, either with my work or the crisis of a coworker. So by the time I drag myself through the front door and grab dinner (which is usually cereal), I’m spent. I have little or no desire to push the little button to start-up my computer, let alone sit in front of it and write something semi-meaningful or funny. I’m grateful to have a job in this economy so I take their shit and nod my head like the good little ‘yes man’ I am, but there are times I definitely want to toss my papers in the air and throw up my hands and say “eff you people, I’m out of here.” One day it will happen. Promise.

Then there is this crazy thing called a pet. He takes a lot of work. Who knew you had to feed and walk and bathe and play with them and keep your eye on them otherwise they’ll eat your new favorite expensive shoe. Crazy, I know. But he’s great and I encourage everyone that can responsibly take care of an animal to welcome a pet into their home. Rescue if you can, but if it’s not possible, I won’t judge as long as you buy your dog from a responsible breeder and not a puppy mill or pet store. Pets really are great companions. They’re affectionate, you can tell them anything and they’ll never spill the beans, and they don’t talk back. Perfect!

I really have no better excuse as to why I’ve been neglecting this place. But please forgive me.

I promise, I'll soon be ready to play and get into trouble. I will not steal your favorite shoe.

“Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success.”

PS: I heard the AHL schedule will be out tomorrow at 4pm. Which means I’ll be on www.theahl.com at 3:55, refreshing the page every minute until it’s available. Then I can spend my annoying conference call planning some fun trips.

Hockey season is only about two months away. It’s like chum in the water and I’m a shark…I can smell it and it’s making me crazy.

Zzzzz…

It’s summertime and the blogging is scarce. I don’t have much to write about because I’m not big into development camp and stuff like that. I do wish the AHL schedule was out. Actually, I haven’t checked so I guess I should do that. Watch it be out and here I’ll sit with egg on my face. Anyway, to pass the time until the beginning of the season,

• I’m color coding my socks.
• I wish Tommy Lee would sign out of Twitter for Andrew Gordon, like he did for Brad Richards.
• I wish I ran into Chris Bourque at Giant.
• I wish I could train my dog to lift his leg higher so he doesn’t pee on himself.
• I wish I could figure out why girls like John Mayer so much.
• I’m building a soapbox car out of popsicle sticks, soda tabs and poster putty.
• I wish I could find the drive and dedication to study for the LSAT.
• I’m taking my dog for runs in the evening.
• I’m writing a semi-fiction story.

Only a handful of the above are true. So I’ll leave you with some of my favorite funnies from the internet. This one’s an oldy but goody and I hope you enjoy it. Otherwise, forgive my juvenile sense of humor.

The different types of poop. Yeah, I’m going to go there. I got this in college in one of those forward email things. It was hilarious back then and it’s still pretty funny now. I had a conversation a few days ago and it made me remember this topic.

Ghost Poop = You know you’ve pooped. There’s poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Poop = Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don’t feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Poop = This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn’t come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don’t stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Poop = You’re all done wiping your butt and you’re about to stand up when you realize it…you’ve got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop = This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn’t come until you’re all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

King Kong or Commode Choker Poop = This poop is so big that you know it won’t go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else’s house.

Wet Cheeks Poop = This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.

Cement Block or Oh God Poop = You wish you’d gotten a spinal block before you poop.

Snake Poop = This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) = Even after the third flush, it’s still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else’s house.

Beer Drunk Poop = This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poop doesn’t smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there’s somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also usually happens at someone else’s house.

The Frightened Turtle = The kind of poop that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.

The Bungee Poop = The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Poop = The kind of poop where you eat really spicy food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler = The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Incredible Hulk Poop = The king of poop that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it’s normal size.

Dirty Bowl Poop = The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche – but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Poop = When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a poop.

 

Visitor’s Guide

I spent part of the evening bitching about all the tourists. I hate that you can’t go anywhere in Hershey in the summer and not almost be involved in some type of traffic scenario because someone is in a hurry to get to the park or can’t wait to shop at the outlets. I really don’t understand why people vacation in Hershey for a week. Sure the park is cool but going there for five days has to be really boring. Although I guess most people tour the Amish stuff in Lancaster too (which is also weird as I don’t understand people’s fascination with the Amish).

Well, here’s a little visitors guide if you do decide to visit the town that chocolate built.

Lodging
Of course there’s the Hershey Lodge and The Hotel Hershey. Both are really nice and the hotel has the Hershey Spa (which is kinda overpriced, but it’s a neat experience and a fun treat every now and then). There’s also a crazy expensive jeweler in the hotel. I don’t know much about it because 1) I’m not a huge jewelry person and 2) I probably couldn’t afford it anyway. There are lots of other great places to stay in Hershey or Hummelstown (which is an extension of Hershey. Consider Hershey the hand and Hummelstown the fingers). Hotels range from the Hilton Garden Inn on Main Street, Springhill Suites on 39, the Red Roof Inn, Hampton Inn, the Milton Motel, and many more. Heck you can probably get a weekly rental at Bluegreen too. I remember someone tried to get me to buy a timeshare there. Why would I buy a timeshare in Hershey? lol.

Food
There are a lot of places to eat in Hershey too. Places ranging from chain joints to one of a kind Hershey locales. Food areas are predominately right along Hersheypark Drive near Main Street. Out there the food establishments range from Taco Bell, Applebees, Panera Bread, Tokyo Diner, Pizza Hut/Papa Johns, McDonald’s, and the Coco Grill. The Coco Grill doesn’t look like much, but from what I’ve heard they have pretty good food. If you find yourself out by the Lodge you can also swing by the Bears Den, the Hershey Grill, Fudruckers, Isaac’s, or Sorrento’s Pizza (which is reported to have the best pizza in Hershey…sorry Fenicci’s!). If you’re looking for something a little more upscale Devon Seafood Grill is in the square, attached to Houlihan’s. Fenicci’s is just a few blocks down Chocolate Avenue and What If Cafe is up the road, toward Palmyra.  If you’re looking for something good for breakfast then you definitely have to head out to the Hershey Pantry. Not my cup of tea, but everyone says their homemade scrapple is fantastic (yuck, do you know what’s in scrapple or how they make it?! I won’t tell you). If you’re not interested in any of those places, you can head into Hummelstown and have dinner at the Warwick Hotel or go out Cocoa Avenue to Fire Alley. There’s also a Friendly’s in the middle of nowhere, across from the Lodge. It’s a giant field and then bam, there’s this Friendly’s, just out in the open. You can even swing into Pronio’s Market on W. Caracas Avenue and get some takeout from the deli (on a related note, Pronio’s is supposed to have the best Italian Sausage in the area. I wouldn’t know, I don’t eat sausage).

Shopping
The outlets are a hop and a skip from the park and you can find some good stuff there. I remember a few years ago the outlets were kinda a mess, but now with the addition of JCrew, Loft, Coach, Polo, and the new editions they have planned, they’re a better place to shop. You can shop and buy crap until your little hearts content at Chocolate World or at the various stands in the park. If you’re in town visiting and realize you forgot your toothbrush, deodorant, condoms, tampons, aspirin, whatever; you can pick it up at Giant on 39 or Cocoa Avenue, Karns on Cherry Drive, Weis or Kmart out on Hersheypark Drive in the shopping plaza on the hill, or Walmart on 322 outside of Hershey (ask Charlie Stephens about that place).

Shit To Do
I guess I should call this attractions. Hershey has some cool stuff to do that doesn’t involve getting a mild-grade concussion while riding the Wildcat or dealing with tons of screaming kids all hopped up on sugar at Chocolateworld. Hershey has an orchestra, playhouse and theatre that are top-notch. The Hershey Playhouse has had shows like “Bye Bye Birdie,” “Annie,” “The Wizard of Oz,” “Our Town,” “Fiddler on the Roof,” and many more. The Hershey Orchestra has performed “The 3 Phantoms,” and the Hershey Theatre is set to put on “Peter Pan,” “A Christmas Story,” “Mama Mia,” “Funny Girl,” and “Back to the Future.” There’s also the Antique Auto Museum, which has a lot of cool old cars. They even have a DeLorean on display! When you’re done there, head over to The Hershey Story and learn the history behind Mr. Hershey and how he turned a giant cow pasture into Derry Township (aka Hershey). Lastly, but certainly not the least important: the Hershey Bears, the oldest AHL franchise. Indian Echo Caverns are just a short drive away in Hummelstown too. So if you like that underground cavey stuff, enjoy looking at those stalagmites. Don’t forget all the concerts and WWE matches and crap they have at Giant Center. Hey, wrestling is entertainment. *giggles* Once you’re done watching the WWE, you can waste the rest of your day away at the spa or if you like to golf, there is plenty of opportunity to do that. The course at the country club is really nice. If golf isn’t your thing, you can play tennis the Hershey Racquet Club.

Nightlife
Hershey’s a pretty quiet town so if you’re looking for lots of  late night clubbing, this is not the place to be. You’ll have to risk your life and go into Harrisburg for that stuff. Hershey has it’s fair share of bars  and night entertainment too. There’s the infamous Shakey’s (now called  Overtime Sports Bar). The Gas Station and Chick’s Tavern are in Hummelstown as is the ever so lovely, G-Man (now called Dukes), ugh. *shudders* I have a super creepy story about that place. Notice I don’t stay ‘stories.’ Well it was that bad I’ve only been there once and have no desire to go back. The Warwick Hotel also has a bar, as does the Penn Hotel and the Bears Den is a nice little sports bar at night. There are plenty of places to have a drink with friends or get wasted, whatever you like to do.

Who knows, you may even run into a Bear or two at any of these places. That’d be kinda creepy if you saw Brian Fahey in Indian Echo Caverns. But who knows, maybe he loves geology? I did see Louis Robitaille at Giant on 39. I did resist the urge to trip or shout obscenities at him.

Enjoy your trip to Hershey.

…Things to Say to Hockey Players

This was a blog search term. Actually it was really ‘cute things to say to hockey players.’ You wanna know what cute things to say to hockey players? Alright. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

“Great game tonight Bobby.” Pretty harmless!

“Can I buy you a beer or a Jagerbomb?” They like beer…or Jagerbombs or anything mixed with Red Bull.

“I loved the way you scored on that goalie tonight. Maybe you can score with me.” Barf, gag me.

“You’re my favorite player. I have all of your cards and all of your game worn charity auction jerseys.” Creepy!!!

“I baked you these cookies. Your Wikipedia page said snickerdoodles were your favorite.” Don’t eat the cookies. Do. not. eat. the cookies!

“I love when you score in the five hole from behind the net.” You’re not talking about the game.

“Can I be your DD?” In other words, you want to drive them home at the end of the night and get some.

“My, that’s a really big stick you have.” All the better to spear you my dear.

I told you.

Got any other lame things to say to hockey players? Leave them in the comments.

Why I Love Hockey: # 3

Before I start, let’s recap. I love hockey because it’s exciting and isn’t played in the sweltering August heat.

My next reason involves the physicality and athleticism of the game. I’m not saying baseball isn’t athletic and it doesn’t take skill and talent to succeed, it does and I like baseball, I just don’t love it. But with the exception of running the bases or chasing down a fly ball, it’s a pretty anaerobic sport.

From a spectator’s standpoint, hockey is more high-intensity, aerobic activity. Players are out on shifts  and they’re going at 150 percent the entire time they’re on the ice. There’s a reason hockey players lose a couple pounds of water weight by the end of a game, from sweating! The only reason to sweat in baseball is because it’s noon and 100 degrees outside with 98 percent humidity.

Tell me what you’d rather watch; Brooks Laich chasing a puck down the ice or John Kruk running to second base…

Yeah, I thought so.

Let’s Chat

Hey baby, what's up?

Let’s have a small, yet fun and informative chat about the giant elephant in the room. I promise it’ll be fun. Like the party lines you could call back in the day and get charged $1.99 a minute to chat with an entire room of strangers. Some of you have no idea what I’m talking about.

I’m not talking about Andrew Gordon leaving Hershey and the Capitals system. It stings a little bit, but it’s all for the best. Everyone should be glad. It sounds like he’s going to get a shot, which is something that wasn’t happening here. Just be glad someone here was interested in him. He could have packed up and headed to Europe and it’s next to impossible to keep tabs on your favorite player when there’s a language barrier (even if you use Google translator) and a five to seven hour time difference. Trust me, it’s hard. And maybe a few years down the road, he might come back. So cheer for him as loudly as you did before because he deserves it more than anyone and don’t think of it as a goodbye, think of it as a see you later.

Aw, look at that damn elephant he's ruining Thanksgiving dinner.

You know what I want to talk about. Earlier I said I didn’t want to talk about it at all, but I listened to GeffMan’s plane relaxation music and some of my rage has subsided. I’m going to try being rational about this. Emphasis on the word try.

I want to have a little chat about Chris Bourque.

Before you click close because you figure this is another one of those posts where I make fun of him, stop. It’s not. He’s not going anywhere and  I’m going to have to deal with him being on the Bears and/or Caps, so I figure I might as well learn to tolerate him.

As long as he scores goals and plays awesome, I don’t care as much about the rest of this stuff.

He’s older and I hear he’s getting married (to whom I don’t know and I don’t care), so maybe he won’t be so much of a skeez ball anymore.

He’s had his Euro experience and it didn’t seem to be what he thought it would so he’s coming back, even though he was tired of DC using him to plug roster holes. So maybe he’s learned the grass isn’t always greener.

Maybe he’ll be nicer to fans and act as though it’s more of a privilege and less of a burden to interact with the people who cheer for him and pay his salary. We weren’t all the kid of Ray Bourque and being around guys like Adam Oates, Joe Sakic or Patrick Roy wasn’t the norm, so maybe it is a big thing for some fan to meet Chris Bourque and get his autograph after a game. He should be honored so many people care.

Maybe Europe taught him to pass more! Oh wait, I bet that’s why he’s coming back. Stop hogging the puck honey.

Kyle at SHOE says he’s a nice guy and I believe Kyle, even if he is an Orioles fan, so I’ll give him the benefit of  the doubt until he does something stupid. I’m still encouraging you all to play the CB Drinking Game though.

If that giant elephant in the room poops on the carpet, all bets are off!

While I’m going to do my best to be an adult and try to tolerate him, I am still not excited about his return. I have this sneaking suspicion that when I make my yearly pilgrimage for a week in February to New York City for work and try to take in the Rangers/Capitals game on the 12th, he’ll be there. But that’s okay. As long as I have Brad Richards, Brooks Laich and Mike Green to ogle, I’ll be able to tolerate it.

So here it is. Me trying to be adult and extending the proverbial olive branch to Chris Bourque.

This doesn’t mean he’s my favorite player, so stop thinking that right this minute!

Check Your Pulse

Because the off-season is so mind numbingly boring.

Is it September yet?!?!?!?!

What are you doing to make it through?

Why I Love Hockey: #2

Hockey is played indoors, predominately in the fall and winter. It’s played in the spring and sometimes summer if  your team is good and makes it to the playoffs, but it’s still indoors, in a temperature controlled facility.

You can add an infinite number of layers when you're cold.

Baseball is played outside, under the scorching sun or pouring rain.

You can only remove so many layers of clothes before you're naked. And still sweaty and hot.

I’d rather be freezing in the winter than sweating like a pig in humidity and sun.

Why I Love Hockey: #1

I admit it. I have cheated on my boyfriend. With baseball, of all things. I know, the shame.

I was at a baseball game over the weekend and after sitting through nine innings…who am I kidding, it didn’t even take nine innings before I realized how awesome hockey was and how much I really did love and appreciate it. As I was watching every strike and ball go by, I was counting the number of reasons I had for loving hockey.

I’ll give you my reasons in different blog posts throughout the summer. So here it is, reason number one.

#1: Hockey isn’t boring.

You can sit through the most exciting baseball game of your entire life and it will never touch the excitement that a hockey game brings. I don’t care if it’s the last at bat of the inning in game six of the World Series between the Yankees and the Red Sox, 3-0, bases loaded, full count.

I have never fell asleep watching a hockey game. I have however, dozed off during a baseball game before.

Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Now Playing

I’ve been thinking about what I should write and I couldn’t come up with anything good, so while I was playing Donkey Kong, I put my iPod on shuffle. I listened to about ten songs before I started realizing that just about every song, made me think of some stupid hockey-related trip or a game or person.

These are a few. I apologize if I might have repeated them at another time.

Heart – Alone, just because every time I hear this song I HAVE to rock out in the car and pretend my voice is as awesome as Ann Wilson’s. I have sung this while waiting to cross the border. I apologize to any Americans and Canadians for any hearing loss I may have caused.

Aerosmith – Baby Please Don’t Go. If you tell me what CD this song comes from, you win.

Snoop Dogg – Gin and Juice. Nothing goes together more than hockey players and gangsta rap. Or maybe not.

I was cruising around Rochester, listening to the metal/alternative station, getting ready to be a bitch and have some hockey player dramz and Trapt – Stand Up came on the radio and made me even readier for the dramz. Fortunately, there was none with said player, only a friend of theirs.

Til Tuesday – Voices Carry. Dubbed as my song, after some unfortunate situations.

Fuel – Running Away, from the Arizona trip.

Black Eyed Peas – Pump It. Someone was watching this in my hotel room, applauding Fergie on her dance technique and commented that I should try dancing like that. Yeah right. When they were handing out rhythm, I was skipped over. You’d have to get me blackout drunk before I’d start busting a move.

Republica – Ready to Go, makes me remember my first and only trip to an ECHL arena. Just for your own intel, don’t go to one. It’s like a bush league.

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Soul To Squeeze

Ludacris – Area Codes, because I’ve got ho’s, in different area codes…

U2 – All I Want Is You. This is always the song I think about as I’m leaving some kind of situation and I get a little frowny because I don’t want to leave because it’s something I love. Espesh when you hear the you’s at the end get screamed out and you can tell how much the singer loves whatever. Bono, it’s like I can feel your pain, bro.

George Thorogood – Who Do You Love? makes me think about hitting the open road and cruising on the highway to your next hockey destination. Who do you love? You better say me.

Wham – Everything She Wants. I admit that I have rocked out to this song numerous times. Don’t say another word.

Morningwood – Babysitter. If you didn’t already know it, you now have validation that I’m a total lame-o. I originally heard this song on an episode of Laguna Beach, not the original series but the second wave of it, when Kendra and those other kids were on it. It makes a good running song when you’re at a hotel gym. But maybe change the album art, cause it’s kinda embarrassing when it’s playing on your iPod and certain people staying in your hotel who you’re sharing an elevator with see the word “Morningwood” large and in charge on the screen of your iPod. If you’re under the age of 14 and don’t know what that word means, don’t look it up.

Snow Patrol – You Could Be Happy

Coldplay – Violet Hill reminds me of bad things involving euro hockey.

Ludacris – Roll Out. I used to know someone who made this song our official leaving home for a night out song, because we were…rolling out. Forgive me, I was foolish at a younger stage of my life.

All American Rejects – I’ll Keep You My Dirty Little Secret. Who has to know? No one. “Gretchen Wieners knows everybody’s business, she knows everything about everyone. That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.” I do not have big hair though.

Now, feel free to judge me on my like of crappy songs.

Summer Workout Time

The off-season is here for most of our favorite hockey players. Maybe you’re a couch potato and you wanna get built like your favorite NHL player. Maybe you’re a recreational player want to add a little speed or strength to your game.

What should you work on? Hell if I know, that’s why I’m pretty excited to find Stack Magazine (http://magazine.stack.com). Billed as the magazine by athletes for athletes, you should be able to find some pretty good tips to improve your strength, speed, flexibility, balance or anything else you can think of.